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Newton was right.	[Oct. 27th, 2009\|08:37 pm]
For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. every great undertaking - i daresay - will be met with a confluence of opposition, equal to the energy applied, aimed at maintaining status quo. change is never free. progress is costly. newton was right.
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overdrive.	[Sep. 20th, 2009\|11:47 pm]
on listening. if i ask myself what am i really looking for, i'd have to say i want ~~someone~~ an environment that's willing to listen to what i have to say and think that it's a fresh idea worthy of a pulitzer and stamp my arm with stars and shapes even though all i ever write and think about isn't exactly new and fresh and original and sometimes i can be really boring as hell and sometimes outright lame. opinions. media has successfully twisted our perception on individuality. people don't have to look great to be great. they dont have to do great stuff to be great people, too. sometimes, i a moment of clarity, you just realize that most people are honestly just fun to be with. awesome people. people you want to get to know more, and learn from, and talk to, and emulate. if you find an awesome person, ask her out. talk, laugh, reminisce, learn, be. updates. ermmm. scratch that. im too bored to type.
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2012.

[Aug. 3rd, 2009|09:11 pm]

[

Current Music

mayday parade - three cheers for five years

]

Tongue Tied.

I think that most women have this inexplicable talent to see beyond the facade and fronts people put up. Im not saying men are shallow, but maybe women are just deeper.

Spongebob.

i spent my lunch time with this cute little girl who kept asking for spongebob stickers. i didnt get to ask her name though (mental note - ask tomorrow) and im pretty sure she didnt bother to ask for mine. well i can't pretend that she was fond of my company because i think all she knew was that i was tall enough to reach the spongebob stickers and she wasn't.

Breastfeeding day.

Today was breastfeeding day. ergo, no patients at the out-patient department. fate, not to be outdone, decided it wasn't through with us and sent us hopping around the hospital looking for consultants who needed slaves to torture.

And so patty nina ad and i spent the afternoon at the Child Protection Unit analyzing child abuse cases and sexual abuse cases and hymens. (Yes, you read that right.)

UCLA.

I trooped over to the US embassy this morning for our visa interview. i asked a sign from God that if i get the visa then that'll be my sign that he has plans for me there. well well what do you know, i think He DOES have plans for me there. By grace, we'll see.

Phonecall.

Lara called. we spent a good hour analyzing love lives and commitment and growing up and settling down. it's good to know na baliw ka parin. haha.

Me-time.

i spent the weekend at canyon woods with the d12. 9 boys and 9 girls and 1 log cabin doesnt really sound comfortable, but we pulled it off somehow. i left early sunday morning with the rain and fog and darkness at full blast, with just me driving and my ipod riding shotgun. (jin, super emo time you'd have loved it, emo girl.) dont you just love driving with the aircon near freezing and it's all rain and darkness outside and youre snuggled behind the driver's wheel with your hoodie up and music playing full volume?

End of the world.

december 21, 2012. the world will end DAW. haha. let's all get married now, yes?

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And we both go down together.

[Aug. 2nd, 2009|11:59 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	1 cor 13	]
[	Current Music	\|	mayday parade - ill be the wings	]

And so the day ends with barely a song to herald and set in stone the immensity of what occurred today.

above all, nothing changes.

if perhaps something did, it is that one know one is very much wiser and very much changed from what one used to be.

the past has a way of catching up to you only to find out that when it does it has no effect anymore whatsoever - its power lost through a time of healing and trusting and growing and exploring and building and renewing and learning.

a journey one will never forget.

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Hypothesis.

[Aug. 2nd, 2009|10:31 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	curious.	]
[	Current Music	\|	mayday parade - i'd hate to be you when people find out what this song is about	]

Curiousity.

I have a theory. call it a musing, if you will. That one of the greatest human weaknesses is curiousity. To attempt to ~~discover~~ uncover that which is best left unknown. it is our greatest strength - and will be our greatest downfall. This human trait, undoubtedly, has laid a foundation for the discovery of many essential sciences that are key to our comfort and survival. It is a crucial part of the human instinct - to find new worlds and abstracts and ideas so that our intellect and wisdom can be further sharpened.

it is not that we want to know. it's that we have to know.

we have to keep on digging. and more often than not we dig against our better judgement. once we do we unearth and open pandora's box.

but i think this central theme begs the more important question: are you prepared to know what you want to know?

more than why we want to know, the biggest hurdle is once we know, how will it affect the future? will it alter my path in any way?

can i handle the truth? or the lack of it?

catch-22.

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Einstein was an avatar.	[Jul. 30th, 2009\|11:45 pm]
In a world that ~~has been~~ is being ruled by absolutes, relativity has lost its meaning. No one defies gravity anymore, content in seething in what everyone else has defined as status quo. There are none who question the fact that we have let others draw our box and define our world - reduced to being mere spectators of a life that has completely lost its own definition in place of a grander scheme of things - the bandwagon. Our place is governed by black and white, hot and cold, yes or no - yet relativity stands out and screams at the injustice a world of absolutes has created. That is because in order to grasp the universal, one has to perceive the individual first. The bandwagon has ~~alienated~~ completely decimated the avenue for individuality and eccentricity and replaced it with the dull and miserable monotony of conformity and being in a state of norm. Absolutes and relativities cannot stand together. Sentimental yet unobtrusive, our personality characterizes us to the utmost - that our uniqueness is found not in catering to what everyone else is doing or has or goes to, but in a precocious awareness that individuality is a gift of relativity. Everything is relative to something.
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Eternal Sunshine.

[Jul. 29th, 2009|11:50 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	quiet	]
[	Current Music	\|	spinning - jack's mannequin	]

Equivocal.

To sum up myself right now; to define who I am and what I do, I would have to say equivocal. If it can even be used as a precious adjective to describe the state of human confusion one can be in, then that would be my word: equivocal.

They say that doctors need not look far to do something good. Service is their calling. It is their life mission. Genetically modified into their genes, attached into their being - inseparable. Service is why we are made, what we are made for, what we are made through. The core of who we are.

My question is: If that is so, then why are so many of us looking for meaning in who we are and what we do? Why has there been an influx of the mundane - skewered into everyday life like it has and will always be routine and ordinary to be ordinary?

Decisions.

We all make them. Yet few ever realize that our decisions are the truest lifeshapers. They build us. Mold us. Define us. The funny thing is, it isn’t the grand decisions that ultimately dictate who we become, but the seemingly insignificant ones. It is these little wonders that give souls shape and form.

My question is: If that is so, then why do we make so many decisions, especially the little ones, on whims and fancies and treat them like they were trivial, moot and academic, charge-em-to-experience moments and not like they are our pathfinders? Why do so many of us define life by grandeur and success rather than simplicity and uniqueness?

Orbit.

Everything revolves around something. There is a time and reason for everything. A cosmic scheme of things so incomprehensible that one would have to stretch out the infiniteness of human emotion and understanding to even attempt to grasp the meaning and reason and timing and scheming of reason himself - God.

My question is: If that is so, then why do we even consider and feign illusions that the world revolves around us? Everyone is going through something. Why not attempt to understand and empathize instead of putting on a dismal egocentric view that nothing else matters except our here and now? God knows the world needs more appreciation. An awareness and perception that things are not how they look and people are deeper and more fragile than we make them out to be.

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The Simple Life.

[Jul. 27th, 2009|12:07 pm]

[

Current Music

hero heroine acoustic

]

once in a while, or maybe when you're not careful, you get these lucid moments of your entire life flashing before your eyes leaving you wondering if there are some things you still have to do before you go or whether or not you're quite happy with the way you'll leave things when you disappear.

i think that that is what people are looking for. control. some semblance of order or predictability so that we won't ever be caught off guard by the curve balls we're thrown.

medicine is a unicorn. it gives people an illusion that they are in control. who ever is?

so anyway, rosey and i hopped over to Shang the other day and watched my sister's keeper. i was awestruck by the immensity and depth of the book's ending, and wanted to see how they'd be able to pull it off on film. needless to say, the movie was a disaster. messed up. just like harry potter. haha.

tried two new things this weekend: Ristra's mexican joint over in Wilson, and Charlie's angus burger joint over in Kapitolyo. maybe i should start a food blog, too. im not a fan of writing about food, just eatin 'em, but do try to drop by if you're in the area. sarap.

and i discovered somethin new, too. when i was a kid, yaya would make me this delectable avocado dish which i loved so much. well, turns out what she made was just plain old... guacamole. gucamole, yaya style. brings out a lot of childhood memories that dish.

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sickers.	[Jul. 20th, 2009\|12:21 pm]
now i know why mondays have that kind of effect on people. maybe because after the warmth and welcome of a good weekend, monday is the harbinger of toil and stress - that you and i have to wake up to the reality that we will always have to trudge out 5 days a week and make a living. forever. in a month's time, i'm taking another step towards adulthood - it's called the state of being BROKE. or tightening your budget. or management. call it what you will, it matters not. I'm officially transfering condos, having obtained the keys and what not, and will have to pay a ~~meager~~ hefty rent larger than i wouldve expected. therefore, i cannot afford to go on bingy shopping sprees and thrifty spendouts like before. OR maybe what i really mean to say is that i would have to adjust my cost of living, which is just plain difficult, given the circumstances. father says i can't pull it off. maybe im competitive like that. maybe i want to know that i can. hmmmm. we'll see. if you keep on anticipating the future, then the present loses its meaning. i skipped class today due to a spiking fever. needless to say, im stuck at home doing nothing. not good. workaholics need work, the same way pandas need bamboo. *whatever you do, don't watch harry potter 6. ugh.
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i'm hungry.

[Jun. 25th, 2009|09:20 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	hungry	]
[	Current Music	\|	hum hallelujah - FOB	]

im sitting happily in my favorite, cozy, little coffee shop when, out of the blue, someone asks to share my table.

sure, no problem.

i thought the night would continue to be uneventful, save for the papers and powerpoints i need to read, when she proceeds to order 4piece pancake with uber lots of bacon showered with lotsa eggs and syrup.

not to be outdone, i ordered myself a lava cake with loads and loads of vanilla ice cream.

she orders chocnut varola, a delectably sweet cake that is simply to die for.

this little boy wont be out-eaten by some unknown girl. hahahahhaha. i proceed to order roast chicken with buttered veggies.

she orders another dish - pizza. pizza with anchovies and mozarella.

i order watermelon green mango fruit shake, plus some summerpumpkin and melted cheese chowder.

she politely thanks me for the table and leaves.

1) i lost miserably to a girl. not only did she out-eat me, but she left my ego in shreds. hahahaha.

2) i have been eating the whole day.

3) i've gained 10 pounds and still look like a freaking chopstick.

when i went down from the condo, i discovered that burger king just opened beside DQ (and Wendys and Fro-Yo are nearby!)

buy 1 take 1 whopper + large blizzard + biggie iced tea + strawberry yogurt.

gutom pa ako. huhuhu.

this was a totally pointless rant on the effects of food (or lack thereof) when you're cramming for 2 exams.

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the one with the swine flu.

[Jun. 24th, 2009|05:47 pm]

[	Current Mood	\|	pensive	]
[	Current Music	\|	katy perry - thinking of you	]

i.

If you keep anticipating the future, then the present has lost its meaning.

ii.

twitter was featured in time's latest issue (but by the time you're reading this, it's probably not the latest anymore).

it got me thinking on this issue of social networking.

the human need to connect and belong is a characteristic that baffles the best of us.

come to think of it, the deeper issue in every multiply twitter and blog account comes in one short word - "why."

why? why is there a need to broadcast that 'aoo is eating a donut. hmmm yummy? aoo feels lonely. boohoo. aoo just watched transformers!'

if you ask me why, i probably will give you an excuse - not a reason. i dont even know why i have a stupid twitter. hahahaha.

anyway, smile. life is simple. the internet just makes it a lot darn complicated.

iii.

manila day. ohhhh, holidays have this power to make people feel... alone. i wonder where that comes from.

so i decided to rest yesterday and enjoy myself a two day holiday. im probably gonna regret this, given the amount of workload i have to catch up with.

we hopped over to rockwell to watch the premiere of transformers, the gang and the whole shibang!

and i discovered a new foodtrip place - rosey brought me to banawe, where the dimsum gets 50% off till midnight. im not really a fan of chinese food, but i have to admit that that was neat - besides, i always keep an eye out for eccentric food places. i'll definitely be back.

my brother wants to make a food and travel blog - i think i'll join him and sell our blog to the koreans.

iv.

microbio exam on friday, and infectious disease on monday. with only saturday to breathe. hmmmm, let's see how this plays out.

Swine Flu.

hmmm the darn virus is over-hyped, i say. but regardless, them doctors thought i had it. so they quarantined me and ran these stupid tests.

in a nutshell, they had to shove a swab as long as a chopstick up my nose.

remind me never to get swine flu. ugh.

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while it lasts.

[May. 15th, 2009|05:26 pm]

[

Current Mood

bouncy

]

and so: summer sets with barely a month to go before another year of slavery ensues.

to cap the crazy week off, im looking forward to our little legaspi caramoan camsur donsol road trip kicking off tonight.

most of last week was spent with peggy katre and bens setting up ads and creative stuff for ccf eastwood. after being bullied by peggy non-stop, she did admit to something that katre and i found really funny. malandi daw lahat ng babae. lahat. ok pegz, thanks.

rose and bodie introduced me to little tokyo last week. walang picture sayang. its an interesting little establishment down makati cinema square. all i can say is: masarap. masarap mag food trip. (pero mahal.) afterwards, the ever infamous startrek at glorietta. (sa mga nabore diyan - hindi siya boring, ok??)

then Mikko Jeff Jino and I jumped shipped last monday and watched startrek (again. tsk tsk rose).

jeff has always had a knack for choosing good movies and so we played along and quite enjoyed the excellent movie. and it was a 'bagets" gimmick of sorts narin. yes guys, bawi na ako sa inyo. im no flaker. i bought the popcorn. haha.

and due to google girl's suggestion that lazertag is a must (last i checked, "laser quest" pa siya sa 2nd floor ng megamall. ganoon na katagal.) the d12 and i planned a lazertag thing friday noon and decided to meet 12pm at ccf. lo and behold, they arrived 130. gimmick fail.

so instead of freezing our butts out there, i abandoned the ship and proceeded to eastwood (on mikko's and jeff's boredom-induced persistence) to watch IP MAN.

IP MAN. hahahhaha. i repeat: jeff has an untarnished record of choosing good movies. hahahaha. at first i was ready to write off the show as a b-movie - pang dvd nalang siguro - but no. ano mikko, ok pa track record ni jeff? haha.

its a darn good boy movie. (parang "taken" - liam neeson) bawal girls and girlfriends. mabobore sila. strictly aberkadz lang. IPMAN! hahaha.

we proceeded to stackers to grab some grub.

probably the highlight of the afternoon is that we're officially buying THE condo - nicknamed "inaway ako ng misis ko kaya dito ako matutulog tonight condo" (unless the bagets can think of another hahaha) - january 2010. hear that mikko jino jake chuck? official na. january 2010. hahaha. we will have the official barkada condo come 2010 hopefully.

its been a childhood dream. to buy a "base" for all our kalokohans. jeff will bring the PS3, mikko will bring the aircon, jino and jake can bring the ref and beds. chuck, bring kitchen stuff. i'll bring the wooden dummy bruce lee used to train with. that way, pag inaway nga kami ng mga misis, hindi kami defenseless. hahahahha.

so, after an eventful afternoon, we trodded to dasma village to jeff roxas' house. (a late congratulations to you on the engagement man!)

the highlight of the night was probably Pom. pom, winner ka. wala pang kape yan sa lagay na yan. Seattle's pictures care of jeff, with ria anna kimi pom in tow.

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halftime is approaching.

[May. 13th, 2009|07:48 pm]

[	Current Location	\|	home.	]
[	Current Mood	\|	geeky	]
[	Current Music	\|	fall out boy - west coast smoker	]

My father mentioned to me a while ago, amidst a discussion on my not-so-little-brother's pending college application, that a good writer is one who simply knows how to express himself.

while i do not resign myself to such simplistic views, i would have to agree with him (~~fine, a little.~~) on this one.

i have never been quite good at expressing myself. i'm a doctor, not a writer. i'm taught to have balls of steel and a heart made of stone.

i'm guessing it has something to do with the number of times they deal with death - that they need to guard their souls by becoming calloused as hell. hmmmm. i have to think more about that.

needless to say - i think i have lost the art of expression. i cannot, for the love of everything good, seem to express myself well nowadays. it must be the balls of steel they gave us at the hospital. haha.

music has always been and will always be my medium. but suffice to say that nowadays there is an odd absence of good music. either that, or i just don't know how to look.

i miss my band. quit your jobs and lets become rockstars.

july marks the start of hospital duty. once again, i am resigned to losing everything ive gained over summer. that includes my weight and the social circles built - basta, needless to say, all semblance of life i now hold, gone come june.

september though, is a different story. it marks the end of the one year commitment. i wonder what God'll throw my way.

away from the prying eyes of multiply, im thinking of reviving this livejournal again. for the sake of expression. haha.

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"Seem" is the operative word.	[Apr. 12th, 2009\|11:38 am]
two nights ago we found ourselves in serendra at 2am in the morning looking for something to jolly-up the spirit of a bleak black friday. with our night coming to a halt and our wallets drained and our energy sapped from extreme boredom, someone suggested we go through the stations of the cross smack up in the middle of the high street park. i don't remember what was written there exactly in that dark tent at 2am in the morning. all i remember is that it was awesome. the place was a ghost town, not a soul around, and it was pitch black. not a sound could be heard. the silence was eery; the darkness foreboding. There will be darkness in your life. there will be times when it seems you cannot go on. When it seems you are defeated. When it seems things are too heavy. When it seems all is lost. Remember: "Seem" Is The Operative Word.
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Aftermath.	[Apr. 7th, 2009\|09:42 am]
Rarely, amidst the pitter patter of this dull routine, an awesome thing happens to shake your world. it happens only once every 95,245,390,873 years or so, but when it does, "it gets you and you get it and you'll know you got it coz it got you and you get it and there'll be a lot of 'getting' going on." Well well well, what do you know? Awesomeness happened. and it came in a 4-day package. YOU rock. the 5th day.... will be the longest day ever. But its going to be awesome. PS: i will miss sneaking out at 2am to put toothpaste on moha. hahahhaha.
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Hakuna Matata Squash Banana.	[Dec. 21st, 2008\|12:44 pm]
2 days removed from The Lion King production, i found myself chanting the crazy monkey song i was so used to singing these past few weeks. I will look back to a night where a jungle was alive to a handful of men and women who gave their heart out for something they believed in and worked on and gave life to even if the demands of such an undertaking were very costly to school and health. the production was alive. it was real. perhaps it wasn't world class - sure no problem. but for one brief moment it brought people together for one purpose. the lives that interacted - all of the 100 people in the cast prod team stage design directors choreographers make up costume - all of them became united for those few hours... and the result was something entirely magical. and i was reminded that it wasn't about the quality of your performance, or the seats filled up, or the friends watching, or the accuracy of the tech, or the music, or the singing and dancing. it was never about those. it all revolved around someone bigger. someone who didn't care about skill or audience or whether the lighting was correct or that the lapels kept screwing up. He wasnt watching a musical - he was watching the hearts inside the musical. that, in itself, is something beautiful. thank You. as life goes, experiences that are alive and real and beautiful have a tendency to grow on you, don't you think? i said it before and i'll say it again - I will miss this. i'll miss the amazing people on-stage and off-stage, the friendships built, the fun, the jokes, the food, the late night bonding. so to all those who were a part of this, especially to the people behind the scenes who, in my humble opinion, worked harder than those of us on-stage, give yourself a pat on the head, reward yourself with a double quarter pounder big time fries large coke, sit back, and know that you did an awesome job. Awesome. and i'd especially like to thank two unsung heroes. To dennie and trina, who humbly made the costumes of the entire cast all by themselves, know that you two are very much appreciated. you guys are awesome. do i hear a "Rerun!!" ??? haha. 27th!
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On The Shoulders of A Giant.	[Nov. 17th, 2008\|05:46 pm]
If we have reached far, it is because we stand on the shoulders of The Giant. University of The Philippines College of Medicine Palarong Med 2008 Men's Football Champions Four Championships in a row! To the Captain Awesomes / Interns - Mike and Kevin - Here's to ending Med School with A BANG. And cheers to "The Entourage" - Here' to 3 more years with you guys. Go 2012. (button's missing in the picture) To our Giant - this one's because of You, by You, and for You. Thank you, Lord.
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Eye of The Storm.	[Nov. 15th, 2008\|10:49 am]
Tonight... time is very sluggish and everything is peaceful. After an aching LCL on my left knee and a huge abrasion on my thigh and pretty much a ticket to the semis and finals tomorrow, the day finally ends in silence. i need to document this. this quietness will be short-lived. Tomorrow may be pretty much a day of what-ifs and if-onlys. If only i ran faster, blocked better, kicked harder. OR. I would sleep pretty much a happy little boy in winning the fourth crown. Tonight, however, is filled with peaceful uncertainty and quiet anticipation. I discovered that i'm scared of losing. (heck, i'm scared of many things!) sure, i accept it when it comes. i welcome it, learn from it, and move on. but in a time and generation where everyone gravitates towards strength and confidence i'll be the first to admit deep inside i'm still scared. oh well. we'll know in 12 hours.
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The Saga Continues.	[Nov. 13th, 2008\|05:52 am]
A Tribute. It's gonna be Legen.. wait for it.. Dary! this weekend. Because i simply cannot sleep in anticipation and excitement for what's about to go down saturday. Here's to three championships in a row. And trying to make it four in a row come sunday. (and showing lasalle ateneo ust feu who's Legen... wait for it.. wait for it.. DARY! in this part of town!) "Chicks dig scars, and glory lasts forever!"
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Erratum.	[Nov. 6th, 2008\|10:53 am]
I stand corrected. maybe in a sense, i may have overdid it just a tiny little bit. OR maybe this is what i wanted and i still have to adjust to it. after all, Rome wasn't built in 48 hours. haha. I was writing a few days ago about simplicity and finding meaning in the usuals... in the boring and mundane. And peggy wrote something about being pushed out of comfort zones; if you're a workaholic, God pushes you to the simple and boring. if you're mediocre, then God pushes you to excellence. if you're in the comfortable, the He pushes you to the uncomfortable. and vice versa. So.. it's either i overdid it, or i haven't adjusted yet. sunday monday tuesday wednesday thursday - i was stuck at the condo doing nothing. monday was boring. tuesday was half-day. i didnt wake up for wednesday class. i didnt wake up for thursday class. and i found out there's no class tomorrow. and in perfect timing - Jo-Anne (hi jo) bursts my very comfortable imaginary bubble when she asks me: "So! did you make the most out of your week??" Well well well look do we have here. i was dumbfounded. From here on, we have two trains of thought. 1) its either i didnt make the most of my week and now i have to shape up. or 2) i made the most out of my week because i did what wanted to do. ( a lot of football, 3 books, 298584321339897019842 hours of sleep.) and now the situation begs the question: What defines 'making the most' out of my week? (or my day, month, or my year for that matter.) im not quite sure myself. at least, not right now as we speak. we all know that busyness doesn't mean you're productive. and conversely, inactivity doesn't mean you're lazy. which calls for a restatement of the question into: are you making the most out of your week?
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